The Case of the Drunken Beach Ho
A Semi-Fiction Novel
By.... Peter Hill
Dark and the Light
A voice conveyed over the Intercom System” Lights Out In 10 Minutes!.”. “Hmmmm”, I thought. I must have dosed
off for a few hours. Looking around it seems nothing is much different than it was a bit ago. I continue to lay back and
stare at the ceiling wondering what is going to happen at my Bond Hearing in the morning. Obviously, I will be in jail for
twenty four hours. If my memory serves me correctly, laws say that you have to be brought before a Judge in that
amount of time. Everyone starts to shuffle back to their cells. A few minutes later all the cell doors close in unison. Two
Guards come in, one stands by a table in the middle of the Bullpen and the other Officer walks by each cell and does a
head count. Once that is done, they exit. The last of the secure doors closes and some of the lights go out. Now I feel
as though I can get a little rest. As long as the two other dudes sleeping out here in the Bullpen are cool. I doze off into
my little world of, “what the hell is this Drunken Beach Ho doing to me.”
After waking up only a few times during the night I actually felt a little rested and a bit more calm this morning. As
the lights came on and the cell doors all opened in unison, I sat up in my boat bed and rubbed my eyes. “Yup”, I
thought “I was still in jail.” It’s Monday. I don’t have to play at the bar again until Wednesday. So at least I have a few
days to figure out how I’m going to get myself out of this jail and back to the little life I have. I have no money and I
have no phone numbers on me. I guess I will just sit here until they give me a Public Defender or my friends all figure
out I’m in jail (which usually doesn’t take them long). Either way I figure I’ll be here for a while.
Everyone is now starting to line up against the wall with their cup in hand. As I get up off of my Boat Bed I can see
through the window that the Trustees are wheeling coolers full of juice and other drinks down the hallway towards my
cell block. I get in line with my cup. When they arrive I get my juice and wander around to find an open seat. It
wasn’t difficult, most of the Inmates head back to their cells. I sip my juice a little bit trying to save some for when
breakfast shows up. Breakfast showed up about fifteen minutes later. It consisted of what looked to be biscuits and
gravy without the biscuits, but with two pieces of bread. There were two cookies and some fruit looking stuff.
I ate the gravy stuff and some bread and washed it down with the rest of my juice. I held my tray up a little and
looked around. It didn’t take long for some dude to offer to trade my cookies. He says, “What you want for them
cookies?” I replied “a deck of cards”. He looks around for a second. Another dude comes up and says, “I got a deck of
cards right here for ya”. Needless to say the dude with the cards won. So I give the one dude my tray and he hands
me an old worn out deck of cards. I thought “at least I got something to do now when I’m not sleeping”. In jail I do a lot
sleeping and playing Solitaire. I headed back to my Boat and sat down and chilled out for a bit. I wondered if I would be
going to a Bond Hearing before lunch or after. Hmmm…...who’s to say. So I just eased back in my little Boat Bed and
relaxed a little.
I suppose I was becoming a bit acclimated to this place now. The initial adrenalin my body had produced must
have filtered out of my blood stream. After a while a garbled voice came over the intercom. It sounded like my name.
Other people in the cell block motion to me as if they had called my name. So I get up and move closer to the secure
door. I wait a bit and it starts to open. I walk through and it closes, then the other one opens. An Officer meets me and
says go down this hallway and see your lawyer. So I proceed down the hallway thinking they must have assigned me a
Public Defender. Well now I can finally find out what is really going on. So down the hallway I went.
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